You are no longer one of them

One of the most common paths to becoming a technical leader is to have been “one of them”, part of the technical team in a purely technical role. Transitioning to a management or leadership position is not a simple feat; it requires a lot of learning, trial and error, and adaptation.

From management theory to interpersonal skills, if you are like me, you may not have explicitly planned to develop these abilities. Suddenly, you find yourself promoted to a management position or starting a new job as a technical leader after years in a senior software development role. There’s a crucial aspect of this transition that many new tech leads overlook:

You are no longer one of them. You are perceived differently, and you might find yourself wondering, “Why am I kept out of the usual loops? I am still the same person”. The reality is that you are not perceived the same. The power dynamics have changed.

Ensuring opinions are seen as opinions, not directives

Now, your opinions are no longer just opinions; they can be considered directives. That will likely be the default assumption unless you clarify otherwise. When you were another team member, statements like “We should do this” or “I think that this is the way to go” were open for debate. However, as a leader, these statements can come across as non-negotiable decisions.

In all interactions with your team, you must carefully distinguish between sharing a personal opinion and issuing a directive. As a rule of thumb, assume that your words will be taken as commands unless you explicitly state otherwise.

Here are some approaches that you can use to get input from the true experts  — the ones writing the code:

1. State your bias and invite rejection:

“I think we should explore this, but this is just my biased opinion on my past experiences. Please feel free to reject this and suggest a different path”.

This approach lets the team know that you are not imposing a direction, but rather looking for their guidance. However, offering an initial idea can anchor the discussion, which might be beneficial or limiting, depending on the context.

2. Be a fly on the wall:

“We need to figure out how to do X. I want to listen to the potential options, consider me a fly on the wall”.

This strategy provides an unbiased starting point for the discussion. It can, nonetheless, lead to a more chaotic session if not moderated, as participants might be hesitant to speak up or unsure where to begin.

3. Ask open-ended questions:

“What are your thoughts on using this technology? What potential issues or benefits do you see?”

This method emphasizes that you’re still considering options and encourages team members to share their insights without feeling pressured.

Of course, there will be times when a clear direction is necessary. Still, the default assumption about anything you say to your team will be that it’s a directive. But try to be clear on this, too. It’s not just about choosing the right words, like “should” versus “must”. Be very explicit about when you’re giving an opinion and when you’re dictating the way forward. The less ambiguity there is, the easier the communication and the greater the understanding will be.

Personal feedback and criticism

Another change you will notice is in how your feedback is perceived. Now, when you praise or constructively critique a team member’s performance, it carries more weight than when you were a peer.

As a leader, part of your responsibility is to provide both positive and negative feedback. Delivering good news is always easier, but you must also be prepared to give constructive criticism. Even if delivered with care, it can still be taken personally. This is natural and something to be mindful of.

Here are two essential points to consider when giving feedback:

1. Give public praise, and private criticism:

It’s rare for personal negative feedback to be necessary in a public setting. On the other hand, public praise can significantly boost morale and show appreciation for the team’s efforts.

2. Distribute praise fairly:

Avoid focusing praise on the same individuals repeatedly, even if it’s well-deserved. Favouritism can quickly become a perception, which can be damaging. Recognize contributions of all team members, even in small ways, to promote a positive and inclusive environment.

It is not your job to be one of them

It’s normal to feel a sense of loss when you realize your colleagues no longer see you the same way. However, it’s essential not to dwell on this change. Your role now is to lead, not just to be one of the team.

Your team will appreciate clear leadership and not be confused about which hat you are wearing — leader or friend. The distinction is crucial for maintaining professional relationships and effective team dynamics.

While you can strive to be a servant leader, the first step is to ensure clarity in your role as their technical leader. The clarity is beneficial not only for you and your team but also for the company. Being aware of the change of perception will help you create a more collaborative and supportive type of leadership.

This transition can be challenging, but it’s an opportunity for growth and a chance to lead your team to new heights.